all shall know the wonder
by hulklinging
Summary: Billy lands his first musical role. Some theatre god must love him, because the cast is amazing, the role is perfect, and Hänschen is being played by a boy right out of his dreams. (A Musical Theatre AU. First musical: Spring Awakening)
1. all shall know the wonder

_And all shall fade_

 _The flowers of spring_

 _The world and all the sorrow_

 _At the heart of everything._

This scene feels familiar, probably due to the fact that Billy had indulged in similar daydreams, when he imagined what he wanted his first role to be like. Then he got the call, the one he thought he'd hallucinated, too good to be true, until the rehearsal schedule shows up in his email and it hits him all at once.

He got a part. In a show. In a great show, by a small but up and coming company. It's literally his dreams coming true.

He can't help it. Right before he steps through the doors of the rehearsal studio, he pinches himself. Just to be sure.

Nothing. This is real. Billy takes a deep breath, trying to hide his nerves. He's an actor (oh my god, he got a role, he's an actor). He can do this. He can totally pretend he does this all the time. This is totally not his first show since high school.

Thinking about high school is so not a good call, right now. And now he's been standing outside of the studio for too long. He probably looks like some lost child.

"Here for Spring Awakening?"

He jumps, and turns around. Behind him is a willowy blonde girl, beaming down at him. Gosh. She's tall. She looks like a model, all straight lines and soft colours. Billy nods, and returns her smile. It's hard not to. She's practically glowing at him.

"Uh, yeah. I'm Billy."

"Karolina Dean!" She offers him a hand, and he shakes it, feeling accomplished. One cast member met. Only, like, ten to go. And the band. And the stage manager and the director again and the sound and lights people and the costume designer and choreographer and oh man, Billy, you are losing your shit, stop that. "I'm Anna! Who are you?"

It takes him a moment. He almost repeats his name, which would have been mortifying. "Ernst! I'm playing Ernst."

She actually claps her hands together. "That's fantastic! He's my favourite character. I think he was one of the first queer characters I ever encountered? I saw it with my parents, when it toured! I started crying at him and Hänschen's big scene, had to pretend I was still crying over Moritz..." She smiles sheepishly at him, as she reaches past him and opens the door. "I still haven't officially come out to them."

Billy laughs, and follows her into the room. "That's one thing I managed to avoid. I think my mom's known for ages, anyway. She kept pointing out all the nice Jewish boys in our neighbourhood..."

Karolina giggles, and Billy feels himself relax. The instant camaraderie of queerness may be greatly exaggerated by media, but for Billy, who was the only out kid in his high school, it still feels like a big deal, meeting someone who gets it.

Karolina goes to the far wall, where there's already a small pile of backpacks and coats, and they add their things to the collection. Only after Billy's stood up does he let himself look around. There's a stern looking guy next to a big pile of what must be their scripts. He's frowning at a laptop. The stage manager, maybe? There's a gaggle of people off to the side, chatting, and Billy tries not to, he really does, but he can't help but look at them and wonder which one of them he'll be making out with. Every night. In front of a theatre of people.

Stop that.

There's still a few minutes before they're supposed to officially begin, and he should probably say hello to the gaggle of people, or grab a script. He steps forward, steeling himself, but Karolina grabs his arms, surprisingly tight.

"You don't think they'll have us sing today, do you?" She whispers, sounding terrified. "I still have only sung in public once, I am not ready."

He matches her volume. "What about your audition?"

"Yeah. That was the once."

Well. At least he's not the only baby.

"This is my first show," he admits. The door opens, and a few more people file into the room. At the forefront is a tall girl in a purple shirt and huge shades. She walks in like she's ready to command some troops, and Billy thinks he recognizes her from the auditions, although he will admit that he had been so blind with terror he'd be hard pressed to point out any of the people he had met in a lineup. She immediately goes over to the boy with the laptop, and has a hushed conversation with him. He nods, and stands up.

"Okay, hello everyone! We have a few minutes before we start, but we're going to start giving you your scripts, so if you could come over here a few at a time, we can get those to you."

Karolina hasn't let go of his arm, so when she immediately makes a beeline towards the promised scripts, Billy is dragged along behind. Not that he's complaining.

"Hi! I'm Karolina Dean! I'm playing Anna?"

The man nods, and makes a mark on one of the various sheets splayed out in front of him. "Right. Here's your script, and there's a bunch of papers tucked into the front, there. We're gonna go over them all in a minute, so don't worry about those for now."

"Thanks! Uh," her cheeks go red. "I totally forget your name, I'm sorry."

"Oh. David. I'm the stage manager."

"Great!" Her voice shoots dangerously high when she's nervous or embarrassed, apparently. "Awesome, thanks David! Nice to meet you." And then she yanks Billy forward to stand next to her. He nods at David.

"Hey. I'm Billy Kaplan?"

"Our Ernst. Yeah, here."

Our Ernst. He was someone's Ernst. Billy clutches the script to his chest like it's something precious. Because it is.

* * *

After they've all gotten their scripts, the girl in purple calls them in. They sit around a few of the tables, pushed together, and Billy's got Karolina on his left and a smiling silver haired boy on his right. Do not let him meet Tommy, Billy makes a mental note. Do not think it would go over well.

When the boy gives him a wink and says his name is Noh, Billy isn't even surprised.

The purple girl introduces herself as Kate, and explains that their director is a bit behind schedule, but as their assistant director, she was going to get them started, and they could go from there.

"Let's just go around and say our names, and who we're playing or what we're doing for the production," she says, with a sigh and a glance at her phone. "We decided that, because of the nature of the show, we wanted the first rehearsal to just be the kids. You'll meet our Adult Woman and Man at the next full cast rehearsal, as well as the rest of the crew." That's good. Less names to memorize all at once. Billy focuses on the girl to Kate's left, and tries to resist taking notes on who was who.

The girl, a strawberry blonde with a big smile and a touch of the South in her voice as she introduces herself as Julie Power. The name sounds vaguely familiar, and judging by Karolina's slightly wide eyed look, Billy figures he can ask her why he knows the name. Googling castmates as he meets them is probably not great form. Julie will be their Wendla.

Next to her is a boy with a smirk that goes straight to Billy's head, if he's being honest, and his cocky attitude makes him want to peg him as his Hänschen, but no, his name is Brandon Sharpe, and he'll be playing Melchior. Then it's a very young-faced Cassie Lang as Thea. Eli Bradley, Otto. Martha is Xavin De'zean, an absolutely striking girl with a gorgeous low alto of a speaking voice that makes Karolina hum under her breath. Noh, who wasn't lying about his name, apparently, is their Georg. Then it's Billy's turn.

He doesn't even stutter or stumble as he says "Ernst. Billy Kaplan." He has a moment to congratulate himself on a job well done, before he realizes he kinda got that backwards. "I mean, I'm Billy Kaplan. Playing Ernst Robel." Oh well. And before he can stop himself, his traitor mouth continues. "Also responses to Patroclus."

Karolina and a few of the others chuckle. Billy smiles. Right. It's not like he's the only nerd her.

On the other side of Karolina is a red-headed boy with a soft voice wrapped in steel. He's Jay Guthrie, not a cast member but their music director, and now Billy places his face, which he saw last behind the piano at his audition. He had been shaking, when he handed his sheet music to the guy. But Jay had given him a big, encouraging smile, and Billy had taken a deep breath and sung his heart out and obviously he'd done well enough to be here. He feels a wave of gratitude towards Jay. He also seems like the perfect counterbalance to the harsh lines that are their Assistant Director and Stage Manager.

After Jay is Ilse, who introduces herself as America Chavez, and that name Billy definitely knows. She's done a stunt job or two with Tommy, if he remembers correctly. She's an intimidating force of a girl, and Billy wonders how she will manage to be on stage and not pull focus from Julie. Although Julie looks like she might be one of those people who is most beautiful when acting.

Damn. This is really happening. Billy knows he's got that grin on his face again, the almost manic one, pure excitement. He can't help it. Their cast looks amazing. They're going to be amazing.

Next to America is Loki, whose introduction as their Moritz is aided by a punch in the arm from America. Obviously, they've worked together before. Billy's already visualizing the show, fitting them in their roles, trying to see it. He kind of gets carried away, and only realizes he's spaced out halfway through the last cast member's introduction.

"-Altman. Teddy, for short. Or Achilles, apparently."

Billy starts, and takes in Hänschen. There's a lot of boy to take in. He's a big blonde with piercings in both ears and the bluest eyes Billy's ever seen. And he's looking right at Billy, smile stuck somewhere between nerves and excitement. Billy mirrors it, and the butterflies in his stomach practically take flight.

"Fantastic," says David, closing the circle with his own introduction. "Let's go over some paperwork, first of all…"

"And then," says Kate, smiling for the first time since she's walked in. "Maybe we can even get to some actual singing."

The readthrough comes first, and Billy finds comfort in the mostly-familiar lines, listens to his cast around him as their voices replace those of the original broadway cast, in his mind. Not everyone is familiar with the show, it seems, which means Billy and Karolina get to shoot each other knowing looks as some of their unsuspecting castmates express their surprise at the tragic turn of the second act. And then, as Kate promised, Jay goes to the piano, and they all pull their chairs around, and they stumble through learning their first song. They start at the end, with A Song of Purple Summer, and it's rough and people stumble and Billy couldn't guess, who has experience and who doesn't. In the end, they get through one full run of the song with no major mess ups, and everyone's smiling with success when they manage it. Their mysterious director hadn't shown up, but Kate gives them all a nod.

"You'll get an email tonight with the rehearsal calls. See you all in the next week. And great work, today." She takes a moment to look at each of them in turn, and by the time she reaches Billy, ad the end of the line, her smile is as big as her own. "We are going to be phenomenal."

The song follows Billy all the way home. He hums it, lets it sink into his pores, until his heart beats in time.

Forget all of the times he daydreamed, or got lost in 'what if's. This time, just this once, real life is better.

 _"And all shall know the wonder_

 _of purple summer."_


	2. more like your ghost

_In the midst of this nothing, this miss of a life_

 _Still there's this wanting just to see you go by_

 _It's almost like lovin', sad as that is_

 _May not be cool, but it's so where I live._

Billy is stareing. He really shouldn't be. He should be going over his lyrics, because the lyrics of the next song they are to learn are still managing to evade him. But he can't help it.

"He has amazing stage presence," whispers Karolina, who is supposed to be going over her own lyrics. "No wonder we're all in love with him."

"Hey, I'm not," protests Billy, eyes still fixed on their Melchoir as he pulls Wendla through one of their duets. "Ernst prefers blondes, I think."

Karolina laughs and stands up, stretching. They both came early for their own calls, which means they get to watch Julie and Brandon move around each other, their eyes only for each other as they rough out the blocking for Word of Your Body. Billy can't help but watch their gentle touches and wonder if he and Teddy will be mirroring them at all, in their reprise of the same song.

"We're doing your solo today," Karolina keeps her voice low out of reflex, as Julie goes back to the top of the song, her voice sweet and kind. Some people have voices that are surprising, that do not match her appearance. But she is just the same out of character, all bubble gum smiles and at the first rehearsal she had made a point to talk to every cast member, greeting them by name. Her Wendla has that wide eyed innocence the character needs, but she also brings a stubborn curiosity to the role, which helps her stand her ground against the steel idealism of Brandon. Billy likes Julie, even though he doesn't know her very well, yet. Brandon he's not so sure about. He's been cocky and boastful, the first few rehearsals. It's no secret he's one of the more experienced of the cast, and he's made sure that everyone knows that. But he is a good Melchior, and when he is on stage, his presence is impossible to ignore.

"I'm trying not to think about it," he admits. Ernst's solo in Touch Me is one of his favourite moments in the whole show. He's terrified of messing it up.

"You'll be great," she shoots a big smile his way, which is cheating, because Karolina's smiles are contagious.

"What about you?" Before they go into learning Touch Me, they get to learn My Junk, which is technically a full-cast song, but Anna has some solo lines which means Karolina has been stressing about it for days. They had met for coffee before rehearsal, so that Karolina could panic at him as needed. He secretly hopes this becomes routine, coffee dates before rehearsal, because he was definitely approaching panic himself, earlier. But talking dream roles and favourite shows with Karolina had been what he needed to ground him, and even as his stomach knots itself, it's much more manageable than it had been earlier.

"I'm actually feeling okay!" Wendla and Melchior seem to have finished falling for each other, at least for the moment. Jay gives them some feedback by the piano, while Cassie stumbles in, out of breath and apologizing for her tardiness, even though she is still a good twenty minutes early. She doesn't relax until Karolina goes over to her, and they have a quiet conversation Billy doesn't bother to listen in on. Cassie is the youngest of the cast, as far as he knows, and she holds herself to ridiculously high standards because of it. America, who's been here almost as long as Billy and Karolina, stands up and starts running through some hushed vocal warmups. Billy finds America very intimidating, though he tries not to let it show when they interact. Not that they do, much. She seems to prefer to keep to herself.

The rest of their cast file in, and after they are all here, Jay leads them in a brisk warm up that is just complicated enough to bring Billy focus. Focus is usually not such an issue, at least when it comes to theatre. But Billy has been finding himself distracted by Teddy more and more. He wants to blame it on his nerves, because next week is when they're learning their duet, but it's not just that hanging over him that is making him stare at the boy, who stands tall, eyes on Jay as he leads them through a last warmup. Teddy is so nice. That's the real problem. He's the first to offer to walk someone to the train station. He's the first to offer painkillers to someone with a headache. Billy doesn't know much about him, there's no reason he should trust Teddy as much as he does, especially since he doesn't have the best track record with boys who look like Teddy does.

"Nice is different than good," he mutters, a reminder. Cassie, in front of him, turns around and shoots him a smile.

"Dream role, right there," she says, excitement in her eyes. "I was a stepsister, in high school."

Noh has also overheard. "I was Cinderella's Prince! My high school was not one for the arts, so our show was terrible."

The conversation turns quickly to high school roles and shows, while Jay opens his score. Billy stays quiet, hopes it looks like he's just listening, not avoiding the topic. Jay calls them back to attention before his silence is noticed.

"Let's try it once through, and go from there."

It's the first time Billy's heard Martha, Anna, and Thea sing on their own. And it's not perfect, of course, especially once they get to singing together, but their voices are all beautiful, and in front of him, he starts to see the show take shape. Karolina is visibly shaking, and her voice betrays that, but it's great, for a first sing through. They're great.

Then Teddy sings.

Well, technically Noh signs first. His solo is ridiculous. Not all the notes are right yet, but it's hilarious, and he can't wait to see what Noh does when they get around to blocking it. And then Teddy comes in, and it's not like it's a tricky piece, of even a particularly pretty one. But his voice is smooth and he makes the weird lyrics make sense somehow and he definitely makes Billy miss an entrance, oops. He catches up quick, cheeks hot, and hopes nobody notices.

Focus.

Jay makes some suggestions, asks for just the girl part at the beginning. Billy listens, takes the lyrics and tucks them away, next to his embarrassing little crush. And really, when he sinks into the part of his mind where he collects and brings together the things that make up who Ernst is, it's easy to take the lyrics and apply them to Ernst, who looks at girls with a sort of innocent inevitability, who watches the boys and knows he stares too long but doesn't know why.

The boys are called back over to work on their parts. Ernst sneaks a look at Hanschen, and sings.

* * *

"It's really not fair," Karolina sighs into her tea. "Everyone is so pretty and talented. You think I would be used to it by now, but at least when I was doing modelling I didn't have to hear them all sing."

It's after rehearsal, and Billy had taken one look at Karolina, who had a set to her mouth that Billy mirrored with his own clenched jaw.

"come over for tea?" He offers, and her eyes pull away from Julie as she nods, some of the tension draining from her shoulders.

"Yes, please."

And if a castmate watches them leave together, feels their stomach sink with disappointment, neither of them notice.

Billy and his brother live together in a small two bedroom that they can't actually afford. But Billy's parents had decided that helping him and his twin pay for a place was a good way for them to offer support without smothering them, with the added bonus of them having no excuse not to come home for holidays. Tommy still whined a bit about not being trusted on their own, but Billy knew it was just because Tommy didn't really know how to deal with people actually being on his side. He's learning, though. Just like they're both learning how to be brothers. And as frustrating as Tommy can be sometimes, Billy wouldn't give him up for the world.

As they kick their shoes off by the door, he explains this to Karolina, the parents and the twin he's just getting to know. It's maybe a strange thing, to bring up with someone he's just getting to know, but it's better to explain now than to have to mention it later, because yes him and Tommy are definitely twins but it's also quite obvious that they didn't grow up together. Best to get it out of the way now. Karolina laughs in all the right places, clearly seeing the humour in the situation, and if she thinks it's tragic, no pity shows on her face, which Billy's grateful for. It doesn't really strike him as any kind of tragic, except perhaps in retrospect.

Then, as he gets the kettle going and rummages through the kitchen for anything vegan he can offer Karolina (he finds a banana and some cereal, which she accepts with a giggle and a thank you), she talks about movie star parents who somehow find time between shoots to express their utter disappointment in their only daughter going off to New York to slum it on Broadway.

"Did they actually say that?" Billy almost spits out his tea.

Karolina nods solemnly. "Yes. Gosh, I don't know what they'll do when they hear my first shoe is off-Broadway. Mom might cry." She doesn't seem bothered by her mother's potential disappointment. She also promises that next time they hang out, they can do so at her place. One of her parents' conditions for letting her live in the city had been that she had to live in their New York apartment, which usually sat empty for most of the year. Even when her and her parents stayed there ("For Christmas and New Years," she explains), it was huge. Now, with just her, it's cavernous.

"So, you're hosting the cast parties, then?" Billy's suggestion brings an almost devious glint to Karolina's eyes.

"Most definitely."

It's easy to talk to Karolina. They don't get to the topic of what was bothering her at rehearsal until the second cup of tea. Which is what has Karolina sighing into her tea as she bemoans the beauty of their cast.

"America has a pride button on her jacket," Billy offers. Karolina looks at him with wide eyes.

"America is terrifying." She shakes her head. "She is too hardcore for me, Billy. She would break me." She frowns, and takes another sip of tea. "And with me, and her, we've probably used up our whole queer girl quota-"

"What?"

"-which isn't fair because Julie is really, really pretty. And Xavin. Xavin is gorgeous. Did you hear her today? Her voice is amazing. It's hypnotic."

Billy's still stuck on the quota thing, which must show on his face. Karolina rolls her eyes at him.

"It's different for you. You're a guy. There are an abundance of queer boys in theatre. Usually the queer girls are all in tech."

"Maybe we'll get a cute sound girl?" Billy is half teasing, and Karolina just groans and lets her head fall to the table. Behind him, he hears the door open, and his brother come in. There's a crash of a bag hitting the floor, thuds of shoes being kicked off, slam of the door. Tommy is incapable of being quiet, even when he's not talking.

"Either you have a girl over, or you're gayer than I thought," Tommy shouts in leu of a hello. He must have spotted Karolina's shoes.

"Hello, Tommy," he calls back. Karolina lifts her head from the table just as Tommy walks in.

"Oh, hello." Tommy looks genuinely surprised to see a girl in here. "You could have warned me you had a pretty girl over."

Billy makes a face at his brother. "Tommy, this is Karolina. She's in Spring Awakening with me. Karolina, this is Tommy, part time stunt double, full time evil twin."

Tommy is instantly at the table, shaking Karolina's hand. "Nice to meet you. I'm also the straight twin, for the record."

Karolina giggles, and Billy relaxes. Tommy likes to flirt, and he's glad Karolina seems to have recognized that he's harmless.

Tommy sits on the corner of the table, even though there is an empty chair right next to him. "So, what are we talking about?"

"The show," Billy supplies, which makes Tommy whine and lay across the table, narrowly missing their mugs.

"Of course you are. That's all you've been talking about for weeks."

"But it's a really good show." Which is the response he's been giving for weeks, too. Karolina giggles, and moves her cup to a safer part of the table.

"We're talking about the people in the show, if that makes it any better."

"Gossiping? Shame on you both." Tommy turns his back on Billy, so he can give his full attention to Karolina, like the shameless flirt he is. "Billy's avoiding cast talk, so far. I think he's worried I'm going to swoop in and charm you all, or something."

"Oh, actually," Billy remembers what he neglected to tell Tommy. "America is in it."

"Chavez?" Tommy sits up, surprised. "I didn't know she could sing. She got to push me off a building, once. She's terrifying." He says it fondly, and Karolina nods in agreement.

"Isn't she?"

They all collectively have a moment of silence as they marvel at the force that is America Chavez. Then, because Tommy can't sit still for longer than five seconds, he's on his feet, putting water on the stove.

"Do you wanna stay for dinner?" Billy hadn't realized it had gotten so late. "I'm sure we can veganify something for you."

Karolina shakes her head. "No, I should probably be getting home. Thanks for the tea, though! Do you want to meet for coffee on Wednesday, too?"

"Yes!" Billy says, maybe a little too eagerly. But Karolina doesn't seem to mind. "That would be awesome."

"Maybe we should invite some of the other cast members?" There's a teasing look in her eyes. "Teddy, maybe?"

He thought maybe he'd avoided talking about his unfortunate crush. Apparently not.

"Oh, I don't- I mean, I don't have his number. Or any of his contact info, so there's not really any way-"

"I have him on facebook! We could invite the rest of the cast, too. That way, your staring won't be so obvious."

Billy can feel his cheeks getting hot. "Was I really staring that much?"

Karolina shrugs, and slips her jacket back on. "I only noticed because you were standing behind Julie. So I guess we're both in trouble."

Billy groans. "I'm so bad at this."

And Karolina, because she is terrible, starts humming. Billy recognizes the tune instantly, of course. He's probably heard the song a dozen times, today.

"Don't."

Her humming shifts into proper singing, as she winks at him. "I spend the day wondering what you do, where you go. I try to just kick it-"

Billy has no self control. He joins in. "-but then what can I do. We've all got our junk, and my junk is you."

There's a moment of silence, as they both try to pretend that these lyrics don't apply to them in any way, at all. Then Tommy interrupts.

"What the fuck is this musical about, again?"

Karolina snickers, and pulls Billy in for a hug. "I'll see you Wednesday. It was nice to meet you, Tommy! Have a good night!"

After she's gone, Billy goes into the kitchen to help Tommy make dinner. He's got a silly little smile lurking in the corner of his mouth. He doesn't have a lot of friends, is the thing. So watching Karolina and Tommy getting along so well is a pleasure. And regardless of how nervous being around some of his castmates makes him feel, he can't remember the last time he was this consistently happy. He loves acting. He loves this show. And he's swiftly coming to love his cast as well.

"She's gay, isn't she." Tommy's voice cuts through his musing. He sounds a little disappointed. "I thought she was flirting back, but she's just a genuinely nice person. That's not fair."

Billy laughs, and finishes the song under his breath.

 _"We've all got our junk, and my junk is you."_

 _You, you, you._


	3. and hope that it glows

_Mama who bore me._

 _Mama who gave me_

 _No way to handle things. Who made me so sad._

"No way," Billy breathes. "This can't be real."

"What's up?" asks Cassie, behind him. With Karolina deciding to take the younger girl under her wing, she seems to have decided her and Billy are friends as well. Billy's not going to complain, especially if Karolina keeps doing the hard work for him.

Billy nods at the woman running a scene with Julie. This must be their Adult Woman. They haven't met her yet, but Billy recognizes her. He's seen her on stage before, almost five years ago. He remembers it well, one of the best days of his life. His parents had taken him to a production of Into the Woods. He hadn't known the show, had hardly known any musicals at that point. But he watched Wanda Maximoff from the moment she hobbled onto stage. The rest of the cast was good, but Wanda was magnetic, commanded the stage effortlessly. And when she had sung Last Midnight, he knew. Knew that's where he wanted to be. On stage, wielding his voice like a weapon.

Sure, it had taken him years to admit that dream to anyone else. But that's where it had begun. With the Witch, who is now here in front of him, in his rehearsal space.

"That's Wanda Maximoff," he explains to Cassie. "She… I saw her. As the Witch. She's amazing."

Cassie giggles. "Do you need a moment, Billy?" He might stress at the giggles being at his expense, but he can't focus on anything but the scene in front of him. He watches Wendla's mother lie to her daughter, and tries to remember to breathe.

He had waited at the stage door, crumpled program in hand. She had looked so surprised when he asked her to sign it, like she hadn't just killed one of the hardest female roles in theatre.

"Oh, she was on that show, wasn't she?" Cassie's still talking, but he can't concentrate, because the full truth of what Wanda being here means has just caught uyp to him. She met him. Talked to him, had a conversation.

Five years ago was a long time.

Especially for him.

It's a good thing he doesn't have any solo lines in Totally Fucked, because try as he might, he can't quite swallow the fear in the pit of his stomach. When rehearsal ends, he speeds out of there, fast enough that within ten minutes he has texts from Karolina and Cassie, both asking if he's okay. He's barely finishing typing out _yeah, fine_ to Karolina when he gets a text from an unknown number.

 _Hey, it's Achilles! I got this number from Karolina. I hope that's okay. Are you alright? you seemed off at rehearsal._

Achilles? Oh, right. The terrible joke he'd made, the first day. His cheeks burn and he stares at the message like it's in a foreign language. What does he say? _just not feeling very social today. thanks for asking though_ he finally sends back, after almost ten minutes of stressing. He feels like he can't get air in his lungs. This is over the top, even for him. He's usually got a little more self control.

Teddy's reply comes as he's opening his apartment door. He glances around, and sees a pill bottle on the counter. Where he left it this morning. Without taking his meds.

Suddenly, the panic makes a lot more sense.

"Shit," he mutters, and takes his dose, because better late than never, right?

 _I'M SORRY. Want me to leave you alone?_

 _no, it's fine._ He worries his lip, then adds _you sounded really good today._

 _Thanks! You did too. I'm terrified of the choreo for Totally Fucked… Not much of a dancer._

 _neither am i, don't worry. we can suffer together._

Halfway through gushing about the choreo in Jesus Christ Superstar ( _i can't believe you haven't seen it! i'll lend it to you._ ) Tommy comes home. He's got a nasty bruise on one cheek, but seems to be in good spirits. Knowing his brother, the bruise might even be contributing to the good mood.

"How long have you been standing here?" Tommy bumps him out of the way of the sink and starts to scrub the dirt off of his hands. "Today I got to fall off a building! It was so cool."

"Proud of you," says Billy absentmindedly. He's been home almost half an hour, but he's not about to admit that. He casually sits down at the table, pulls out his script, because next rehearsal is Word of Your Body reprise and a few more spoken scenes, and he really doesn't want to mess up any lines. His phone sits beside him, still buzzing with Teddy's questions. They're talking about some of the strangest choices they've seen made on stage, now. Apparently when researching Hänschen, Teddy had found a production that had Hänschen's masturbation scene end with a confetti cannon. Billy demands proof.

"You didn't even check the messages? Jeeze, Billy. You're slacking."

There's a beep from the answering machine, and then a familiar voice cuts through the apartment.

"Thomas?"

Billy freezes. So does Tommy. Billy knows he does, even though he can't see him at this angle. The only times he's ever seen Tommy perfectly still is when this voice is talking.

"Thomas, it's Mary. Rebecca said I could reach you at this number."

Tommy hadn't really seen much of his foster parents since he got out of juvie. In fact, when he was released, it was radio silence. Billy had recently tracked him down, and convinced his mom to take in a boy he hardly knew. He couldn't leave his twin brother with nowhere to go. They're family. Family doesn't do that.

Which is why Frank and Mary Shepherd don't really deserve the title.

"I'm calling because Frank was in an accident. He can't work, and I didn't know what I was going to do…" The woman does sound honestly upset. But it had taken almost two years for the Shepherds to contact Tommy, after juvie. Billy remembers that call, and all of the ones that followed. Always at least a few months apart. Always some crisis, and Mary asking him to come home, just for a bit, just to help out. And Tommy would go, because for some reason he still feels like he owes them something, and he would come home a few nights later, always livid, looking like he's hardly slept, filled with quotes from his foster family that were almost comically terrible after the fact, but must have been so much worse to hear in person.

Billy had met them once. After Frank had casually mentioned how faggots were responsible for this country's downward spiral, he decided he was better off avoiding them and hating them from afar.

"But I remembered you didn't bother to go to university this year," Billy flinches, because he and Tommy had both tried a year of university, and it hadn't gone well for either of them, for different reasons. It wasn't something they talked about, much. "So I thought I would call, and ask you to come home, just for a few days." They hadn't heard from the Shepherds since they had moved out. Billy had naively thought that maybe they had finally decided to ignore Tommy entirely. But no, it seems that when they needed something, they decided to remember the boy who had lived in their house for almost thirteen years.

"It would mean so much to me. And to your father."

The message ends. Billy sighs, his whole body tense. "You don't have to go."

"I know," Tommy says, in a voice that already sounds resigned.

"Tommy. You can just ignore it. You don't owe them-"

Tommy isn't listening. He stomps off to his room, and packs as loudly as he can, slamming doors and smashing cupboards. Then he storms out into the kitchen again, muttering under his breath, twitchy and unfocused. In moments like this, he looks like he did when Billy first met him, angry and rattling, a literal loose canon. Billy hates seeing him like this. He hates it and he hates his brother's useless foster family, too.

"I have three days off. If I leave tomorrow, early, I should be fine, that should be enough time… Maybe I should call work though. Just in case."

"Don't call work." Billy doesn't mean to sound so harsh. He bites his tongue instead of apologizing.

"Billy," Tommy is talking through gritted teeth. "Don't." Billy flinches at the anger in his twin's voice, already feeling guilty, because he knows, he knows his brother doesn't want to hear it. "Don't talk. I don't have time to argue with you."

So Billy says nothing. He says nothing, just goes to bed earlier than usual, and when he wakes up, Tommy is already gone. Whatever. Billy has auditions to prep for and a duet to practice. He doesn't care.

Still, he texts Tommy a _be safe_ anyway. If he gets a raised eyebrow for it later, he can play it off as a joke.

He tries to take advantage of having an empty apartment like it's a good thing. Karolina and Cassie come over on the second night, and they all cook dinner and then watch Jesus Christ Superstar, because it's apparently still on his mind. He had texted Teddy an invite as well, but the boy had declined, saying he already had plans. He did sound genuinely sorry, so Billy had tried not to stress about it.

Cassie was a great addition to him and Karolina's hangouts, though. She hadn't seen the movie, but she had seen a live production of it, when she was very young.

"My dad's an actor!" she explains. "Which was romantic to my mother for a few years. Then they got a divorce. I don't see him a lot anymore, but I do try to make it to all of his shows. He played Pilate, when I saw this. Mom hates that I wanna act too. Blames it on him." She makes a face. "Blames everything on him, actually."

After they leave, Billy takes the hint that the universe seems to be giving him, and calls his own mother. By the time they've finished catching up, it's almost a reasonable time to go to bed. He hasn't heard from Tommy, so he assumes he's still coming home tomorrow. Tomorrow is also when he gets to sing a love song with his current crush, a crush that has only grown with the almost constant texting conversation they've been having over the last few days.

He's kept himself busy enough, had enough other things to worry about, that he's all but forgotten to worry about whether Wanda recognized him or not.

* * *

She did.

She remembers it very well. It had been a tough week, but having a young teen waiting at the door just for her, shyly telling her that she had been 'amazing, the best, probably...' had been exactly what she needed. And while the parents hung back, Wanda brushed a bruised cheek with careful fingers, asked if everything was okay, and had been quietly told about a bully. It was such a matter-of-fact telling, like bullies were just part of life, inescapable. And maybe they were, but they shouldn't be, shouldn't leave bruises in their wake. Wanda had said just that, told the kid that they all have power in them, even if they don't know it (because that's what musicals have always taught her, and it hasn't steered her wrong yet).

"Be yourself," she says, and gets a smile in return. "And stand your ground. Remember," She hums a bar of music. "No one is alone."

"Truly," is the response she gets, and she knows this conversation might be important to her, but it is even more so to the this one, who already seems to be standing a little taller.

Wanda surprises herself by ending the talk with a hug, which is eagerly returned. It's a conversation she has run through in her mind many times, in the years since. So of course she recognizes him, although it does take her a moment to place where she's seen that face before. She hears someone call him Billy, finds out he's playing Ernst. And although she might not have the right to, she feels a rush of pride, seeing him grown. She's excited to work with him, see what kind of person he's become.

He reminds her of herself, in an odd way.

It's in the details.

Getting ready for rehearsal, she hums the tune of a song she doesn't quite know.

 _"Mama, the weeping._

 _Mama, the angels._

 _No sleep in Heaven, or Bethlehem."_


	4. be your bruise

_Come, cream away the bliss_

 _Travel the world within my lips_

 _Fondle the pearl of your distant dreams_

 _Haven't you heard the word of your body?_

Greg has pointedly been ignoring everything to do with the musical. But this morning, Teddy's so nervous that Greg can't help but comment.

"What's wrong with you, man?"

Teddy flinches. He's been in the bathroom for going on twenty minutes, trying to get his hair to do anything other than hang limp.

"Just have solo work today." Well, a duet, a duet with a cute boy who had invited him over, even. Sure, he'd invited him over because 'Tommy's out of town, so we're watching musicals'. So he has a duet with a very cute boy who lives with a guy named Tommy. "It's my biggest solo part. I don't wanna fuck up."

"Nice hair won't help you sing better," Greg says, in that bored voice he likes to use when he's tired of Teddy's shit. "Dude, you're making it worse, you look pathetic. Come here."

Teddy chooses to focus on the nice feeling of Greg's hands in his hair, rather than the harsh words.

"There. Now stop fussing with it."

He obeys.

"Are you shooting today?"

Greg shakes his head. "We're shooting, but I'm not 'til tomorrow."

Greg is an up-and-coming tv star, the current heartthrob on a Gossip Girl lookalike. If it gets picked up for a third season, it will probably be because of him. He's brilliant and well liked and Teddy's oldest, best friend.

He also thinks Teddy's wasting his time on stage.

"You're not gay enough for Broadway," he said, like that was a compliment. That's when Teddy decided to maybe not mention that his first big role was a queer character. He'd done a one episode role for Greg's show, done a few other small walk on film roles, but he loves the stage too much to give it up. And since Spring Awakening started, he hasn't doubted his choice once.

"Have a nice day off, then?"

Greg snorts, flops onto their couch with a sigh. "Yeah, sure. Are you gone all day?"

"It's Saturday," Teddy reminds him. Saturdays are long rehearsal days. It's on the calendar, he's told Greg at least ten times.

Greg lets himself sink deeper into the couch, and reaches for the controller. "Lame. Have fun running around in tights with a bunch of fairies."

Teddy frowns, debates reminding Greg that it's not that kind of musical, then decides it's not worth it. "See you tonight." He hurries out the door. Today of all days, he doesn't want to be late.

* * *

He is so late.

He slept in, up all night coughing up a lung and telling his newly returned brother that no, rehearsal isn't something you can call in sick for. Not this rehearsal. Not for him. And then Tommy, that asshole, left for work and turned Billy's alarm off and now here he is, so late and struggling to breathe and so, so late.

Kate looks up when he stumbles through the door, does she look angry she's angry isn't she oh no-

"There you are!" She smiles at him. A genuine smile. Billy can't recall he ever smiling at him quite like that. "We were about to send out a search party."

Billy goes to answer, but dissolves into a coughing fit instead. He can't catch his breath for a few good seconds, and if he passes out right here he's gonna be so embarrassed. But then two large hands touch his back, rubbing up and down his spine until he manages to calm down enough for the coughing to stop. When he looks up, it's to concerned stares from Kate, Jay, and of course Teddy, who had been the one with the gentle hands. Billy does his best not to jerk away.

"Dude. That doesn't sound good," Teddy says, tentative. Which makes Billy scowl. He's sick, not delicate.

"Yeah, no shit," which is maybe unnecessary but he's tired and he feels as awful as his voice sounds and when he's tired like this, eyes like bruises, his filter goes out the window.

There's a beat of stunned silence, and then Kate laughs. "Someone's all fired up today. You're not singing, by the way." She holds up her hand to stop any protests, but Billy doesn't really have the voice to argue anyway. "Let's work on Hanschen's singing, and rough out the blocking. Then, you will go home early."

This Billy does try to fight. He can't remember what they're supposed to run this afternoon, but he's sure it's important. Kate doesn't care.

"After this, it's a week of choreo and blocking. To do that, you'll need lungs. Then it's putting all the scenes together, then it's tech week, then we open. You'll get better now, because there's no other time to do so. Got it?"

Billy feels like Kate and his mother would get along. What a terrifying though.

"Yes, ma'am," he answers, trying not to sound like he's pouting. Jay turns a snort into a cough, his eyes wrinkled with amusement. Kate just rolls her eyes.

"Okay, boys, enough fooling around. Let's save that for the scene."

"If I get you sick, I'm sorry," Billy whispers, as they get into position for the top of their scene. Sitting just left of center, not yet intimate, but close enough that when Teddy chuckles, Billy can feel the boy's body shake with his soft laugh. His cheeks are hot, but surely he can blame the blushing on the sickness. It has to be good for that, at least.

Kate tweaks their positions, shifting Teddy so that he'll almost have his back to the audience, a little detail that makes the air between them charged. Then she steps away, satisfied, and gives them a nod to begin.

Just the scene, first. Then they'll go over the song with Jay (or really Teddy will, with him mouthing along). Then they'll bring it together.

"Those bells. So peaceful."

Teddy's physicality shifts, when he's Hanschen. He takes up more space, somehow. He looms, and Billy tries to compliment this without shrinking away entirely. This scene is a balancing act, teetering between Ernst's innocence and curiosity, between Hanschen's flirting and what's real. They run it through a few times, and every time, Ernst falls a little more in love with Hanschen.

Every time, Billy feels himself falling a little more for Teddy.

There's a strange tension in the room, something like possibility or danger. Billy licks his lips, gets some water in him while Teddy and Jay work the song. His mouth is dry. They won't be doing the kisses today, obviously. When will they do them? Billy doesn't want to know, doesn't want to think of kissing Teddy to Kate's specifications. Shouldn't be thinking about kissing Teddy at all.

"Billy, we're ready to run the whole thing, now."

No one asked him if he was ready, of course. Which he isn't, but he takes a last sip of water, tries to shake some of the cobwebs from his brain, and goes to meet Teddy in the middle of the room. They run the scene. Teddy reaches out, so close to touching, not quite far enough. And then the song begins. Billy freezes, holds his breath as Teddy's voice washes over him.

"Oh, you're gonna be wounded..."

And he is, he is.

There's no choreo, Kate had told Teddy to do what he felt, and they'd go from there. And Teddy apparently feels like making Billy's head spin, as he focuses on Billy in that way on actors can, like the world has narrowed to just the stage, and them the only two inhabitants. He sings, Billy drowns, and then Teddy pulls him close.

 _This is where the kiss will go,_ Billy thinks, belatedly. "Oh god."

"Mmm, I know," Teddy hums, lighter, softer than he's heard other Hanschens deliver it. He leans away, and Billy is the one to reach out now, lets his hand fall over Teddy's own, as the boy talks about the future, something like a fairy tale.

"And in the meantime?"

"Why not?"

They look at each other, And Teddy is blushing, while Billy counts out the beats of where the second kiss will fall, tries not to stare. Then he mouths his solo, feeling silly but knowing any attempt at an actual note will send him into another coughing fit. No good.

The scene ends with an embrace and Teddy leading him offstage. When it's finished, Kate actually claps her hands together. She looks pleased.

"That looked really, really good. The ending I'm not going to get into in terms of details just yet. I'll wait until Billy can actually sing his part, because the balance was off, and the exit was rough. But the scene itself, and your solo, Teddy? They look great. Jay?"

Jay is smiling. "Teddy, watch your tone at..."

Billy tries to stay present, but after two more runs, he's struggling to keep his eyes open. Kate notices, because of course she does, and declares him done for the day.

"Are you gonna be okay getting home?" Teddy sounds more worried than he should. Sure, he's a bit out of it, but he's just sick, not dying. He's too tired to be anything but mildly annoyed, but makes a mental note to tell him off for it. Later.

"Sure." He tries to sound sure, too. By the doubt on Teddy's face, it doesn't work. He glances at Kate, to be met with an almost identical expression.

"We could put you in a cab, but I'm not sure if you should even be home alone, right now. Is anyone at your place?"

"Tommy's working today..." His cloudy brain can't recall if it's a late night for Tommy. It might be. "M'fine though. Really."

Kate's already got her phone out. "Teddy, if I excuse you from the rest of the rehearsal, can you be on Billy-watching duty?"

"What? Oh, uh, I can do that." He doesn't sound very enthused but the idea, and now all Billy can think about is the dirty jeans outside his door, the meds he probably left on the counter, the dirty dishes in the sink.

"Kate, you don't have to, I'm fine-"

Kate gives him a Look. He cuts himself off. Teddy grabs his bag and Billy's too, which is sweet but also mortifying.

"Did you call a cab?" Teddy asks, while Billy swats a little and tries to not look as weak as he feels. Sickness always burns right through him, which means he'll probably be just peachy for next rehearsal, but it also means that he gets hit hard and fast. He probably does need the cab, as much as he hates to admit it.

Kate shrugs. "I have a meeting with our publicity girl, so she was already headed over. Her husband's going to drive you home."

Billy starts to panic at the idea of inconveniencing another person, this one a stranger (and also a husband so he's probably, like, a proper adult), but Kate puts a hand on his arm, surprisingly gentle.

"Billy, he's offered before. He's practically the company's private taxi. Don't overthink, okay? Just let the boy drive you home, let Teddy make you tea or whatever, and then sleep until next rehearsal."

He can't find the words to argue, so he settles for an overdramatic sigh, and then shoots Jay a sheepish look.

"I'll pull you two away sometime this week," he says without prompting, because Jay is an angel. "Come early on Tuesday, even?"

"I can do that. Thanks." His breathing is starting to crackle, like his lungs are a fireplace. He grimaces.

The door opens, and a short chubby girl with purple hair walks in. She's younger than he was expecting, for someone with a husband.

"Good afternoon, thespians," her voice is flat, but offset by the smile at the edge of her mouth. "The boy toy is waiting downstairs to ferry the sick ones safely home."

"Thanks, Gert," Kate says, and then Teddy's hand is on his shoulder, steading him as he navigates the stairs. Outside, there's a smiling blond waiting in front of a big white van that definitely isn't supposed to be parked in the loading zone.

"Hello! I'm Chase, your resident theatre husband and get away man." His voice is loud and boisterous, and that combined with his appearance paints him as a perfect foil for his wife. His smile is goofy and strangely catching, and his distinct West Coast accent makes Billy think of beaches and boardwalks, or something.

"Hi," says Teddy. "I'm Teddy. Thanks for the ride."

Chase flaps a hand at them, and opens the sliding side door, revealing a row of seats and an astonishing amount of mess. Billy is almost impressed.

"Totally chill, man. It's what I'm here for."

Billy crawls into the back, lets Teddy close the door behind him. He's freezing, even through his sweater, and without him saying anything, Teddy tosses him his own jacket. It's too big for him, so he just curls up under it like a blanket and mutters a thank you. At Teddy's question, he tells Chase his address, and then closes his eyes. He's asleep almost immediately.

* * *

Teddy tries to pretend he's not worried, but he still can't help peeking into the backseat every few minutes to make sure Billy's still sleeping.

"You're both actors, then? In the spring thing?"

"Spring Awakening, yeah."

"Rad," says Chase, with more enthusiasm than Teddy expected from a guy who didn't even remember the name of the show. "I know Gert's really excited about this one."

"It's a great show."

"Must be nice." Chase turns to shoot him a smile, as he breaks just a little too suddenly for a light. "Getting to act with your sig-o."

"What?" Teddy should probably be paying more attention to this conversation. "Oh! No, we're not- we met doing this show. We're just castmates, Kate just didn't want him alone, so she sent me with him."

"Oops! My bad." Chase makes a turn that has his back doors rattling. "Sorry. Jumping to conclusions, bad habit."

"It's okay." Hopes. He wonders if that misunderstanding would make Billy uncomfortable, if he were awake. He really should be careful, he'd meant that arm on his shoulder to steady him, hadn't thought about how it would look.

 _He lives with a guy named Tommy,_ Teddy reminds himself. _He's not available._

"How'd you meet Gert?" he asks, to change the subject.

Chase laughs. "Oh man. We go way back. Grew up together, you know? I was an ass to her, she saved my life, I was less of an ass. Normal shit. Then she moved out here, and I realized I missed her too much to not be here too. Se me and the Frog here-" he pats his dashboard fondly "-took a cross country jaunt to win her over."

"Wow." Teddy is still kinda stuck on the saving his life part, but he doesn't know Chase well enough to tell if he's joking or not. "And... the rest is history?"

"Eh... no, she totally rejected me. Told me she'd moved away from LA to get away from romcom bullshit. So we were just friends who sometimes made out and were madly in love, because that's less Hollywood, and then there was this weekend in Vegas, with a bunch of kids we've known since diapers. Then we accidentally got married." He sighs happily. "Then the rest is history."

Teddy feels like he's on an episode of Greg's show. "That... I don't know how to tell you this, but I think you might have brought the romcom with you."

Chase snorts, and then gets a ridiculously sappy look on his face. "I know, I tell her that all the time. Isn't it awesome?"

Tech people, Teddy decides, are even weirder than actors. He also decides that Chase is cool people.

Chase pulls up in front of what must be Billy's building, and Teddy reaches around and gives Billy's shoulder a shake. "Billy? We're here, I think."

Billy wakes up with a start. "Huh?" It takes him a moment to get his bearings. "Shit, sorry."

"Don't be sorry, dude," says Chase, from the driver's seat. "Sleep is good. Feel better!" As soon as they're both out of the van, he's off again. Billy squints.

"He's a nice guy," Teddy assures him, and Billy nods, looking very far away. After a moment, he seems to snap out of it, and stumbles up the steps to his building.

When they get into his apartment, Teddy does his best not to be nosy, tries not to look around the entrance at the mostly bare walls, the movie poster and playbill breaking up the light green paint. It's nicer than his apartment, although there are patches of disaster in almost every corner, it seems. Teddy tries and fails to pretend he doesn't find it all a little endearing.

Billy heads straight for the couch, still wearing Teddy's sweatshirt, and pulls the blanket already there around him as he collapses onto the cushions. Teddy is stuck by the door for a moment, at a loss, before he remembers what Kate had said.

"Want some tea?"

Billy makes an affirmative grumble, and Teddy walks into the kitchen. At least the kettle is easily found. Teddy searches through a few drawers until he finds the teas. There's an unopened box of cold and cough tea, and Teddy puts on some water, before taking a peek in the fridge for some ginger and lemon, so he can add a bit of extra punch. He doesn't like seeing the other boy like this, weak in a way that worries him, and if all he can do is make tea, he's gonna make it the best sickness-ass-kicking tea he can. He's impressed that Billy can be this sick and still bring so much to the stage. He was utterly captivating today, even without singing, but there was a detail here, a movement there that seemed less like a character choice and more like exhaustion.

Teddy's humming as pours the tea into the biggest mug he can find, replaying the notes Jay had given him for the day. wondering if it would be overstepping to make Billy some food, too. He delivers the tea to a dozing Billy, who shoots him a grateful look that makes Teddy feel warm all over.

"Do you want me to make soup?" He offers, in a moment of bravery.

"Please?" Billy rasps out, sitting up properly so he can down his tea. He makes a face as he drinks it. "This tastes weird."

"It's what my mom used to make," Teddy says, more information than strictly needed, but he's in Billy's home, surrounded by little details about his life. Teddy offering a few personal facts of his own is the least he can do. "Not the tastiest, but it works."

Billy eyes him. "You're not feeding me witchcraft, are you, Altman?"

His last name, usually something so impersonal, sounds strange on Billy's lips. He laughs, liking the sharpness in the other boy's gaze. "No witchcraft, I promise. Scout's honour."

"You would be a scout," is the muttered reply. But he drinks with no more complaints, and Teddy goes to see what the kitchen has to offer in terms of soup ingredients.

Billy falls asleep halfway through his bowl of soup, and Teddy moves the bowl off of his lap, puts it in the fridge with the rest of the leftovers. In the background, the Sound of Music plays on. It's his sick movie, Billy explained to Teddy as he tried not to laugh, and he will not be ashamed of this fact, thank you very much.

Leftovers away, dishes clean, Teddy realizes he's left himself with nothing to do. He could leave, but he doesn't want Billy to be home alone, and he has no idea when Tommy will be home.

He'd tried to ask again, but Billy had just shrugged. "He's a stunt man. He's working today, that's all I know."

"Should you text him or something?"

Billy shook his head. "Nah, he's busy." And that had been that.

Teddy bites his lip, debating between leaving Billy alone and being here with nothing to do while his castmate slept, which is at best a little creepy. Leaving is probably the right choice, and he is about to do just that, when he spots a familiar bag on the kitchen table.

He's been so good, but he can only keep his curiosity at bay for so long. Leaving out a bag of comics, especially when Teddy hasn't had time to hit his store this week, is too much temptation for anyone.

He's not sure if the comics are Billy's or Tommy's, but whoever they belong to has good taste. He means to just flip through them, but there's a few issues in here that he hasn't read yet, which is why when the door opens a little while later, it doesn't immediately register to Teddy what that means.

"Who the fuck are you?"

Shit. Teddy looks up, and for a split second, he thinks Billy has somehow woken up without him noticing. But no, this isn't Billy. The silver hair is a big clue, as is the scowl the guy is aiming at him. He does look similar, though.

Oh.

Oooooh.

Filled with an odd sort of relief, he stands up. "Hey. You must be Tommy." Tommy, who looks like Billy. Who really looks like Billy, so is probably not a boyfriend at all.

"Yes, I happen to be Tommy. I also happen to live here. With my brother. Where is he? Who the fuck are you?"

There's movement from the living room, and Billy shuffles in, still wrapped in his cocoon of warmth. "Tommy?" he mumbles, voice hoarse. "Why are you yelling?"

Tommy doesn't look any less pissed, but his voice is quieter. "Jesus, Billy. You look like shit."

"Thanks," says Billy, deadpan. He then seems to realize Teddy is still there. "Shit, Teddy, I'm sorry I fell asleep, you didn't have to stay..."

Teddy scratches the back of his head, his chuckle at least half embarrassment. "I didn't mean to stay, honestly. I... got distracted." He gestures to the comics on the table in front of him, and Billy's eyes light up.

"Are you following Saga too?"

Tommy loudly clears his throat. "Yo. Stranger in my kitchen. Why."

Whoops. Teddy turns to Tommy, offers him a hand to shake. "I'm Teddy, I'm in Spring Awakening, with Billy. He wasn't feeling well, and-"

Tommy cuts him off. "And every time Billy is sick he looks near death so you came with him. Got it." He shakes his hand, grip a little tight but maybe Teddy is just being paranoid. "Are you the gay one, then?"

"Tommy!" Billy fits a world of annoyance and frustration into that one word. "What the hell?"

Teddy's stomach clenches, because is he really that obvious? He's not technically out to anyone, except Greg, kind of, and his mother. This boy has literally known him for five seconds and yet he-

"What? You said your character got to make out with someone. I was just asking, Billy."

Oh. Right. Hanschen. Teddy makes his expression resemble something like a smile. "Yeah, guess that's me, then."

"Cool," says Tommy, and walks past him, throwing his bag at a wall and hopping up to sit on one of the counters. "Thanks for watching my brother and making sure he didn't drown in blankets or something."

There's a wordless grown from Billy. Teddy relaxes, but then his eyes find the clock on the wall. It's late, rehearsal ended a half hour ago, which means he should be home any minute but instead he's here. Greg probably wouldn't notice, probably isn't even home, but if he does, he'll ask questions, questions Teddy really doesn't feel like answering. "Actually, now that you're here, I should probably head home."

Does he imagine the disappointment in Billy's eyes? Probably.

"Right, sure. Sorry you had to stick around so long."

"I didn't mind!" Teddy says, maybe too quickly. "I'll never turn down comic time."

Billy nods, and then disappears back into the living room. Teddy gives Tommy a little wave, and gets a nod in return, and then goes to get his shoes on. He's about to leave when Billy comes back, hands full. He shoves a few things into Teddy's arms.

"Here. If you like Saga, you'll probably like these. And I'm lending you Jesus Christ Superstar, too. Watch it."

"Are you giving me homework?" Teddy teases, taking the books like they're something precious, slipping them carefully into his bag.

Billy nods. "I expect a full report. Three pages, single spaced." The sleep seems to already be helping, his voice stronger than it was earlier. "Or maybe just text me what you think?"

"I can do that."

"And text me when you get home!" Billy says, firm. "So I know you didn't catch something from me and collapse in the streets somewhere."

"Yessir."

There's a moment of silence, where a hug could go, or even a kiss. Then the window passes, and Billy gives him a smile instead.

"See you soon."

Teddy's halfway home, when he realizes he left his sweater with Billy. He tucks his hands into his pockets, thinks about Billy's parting smile, and doesn't feel cold at all.

 _"O, you're gonna be wounded_

 _O, I'm gonna be your wound_

 _O, you're gonna bruise too_

 _O, I'm gonna be your bruise."_


End file.
